Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
