hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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