did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
