Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
