I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wear drunk well.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
