happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
