He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
