idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
