I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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