Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.