Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.