FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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