pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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