Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Semen is not good for contacts.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
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We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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