Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Are we still banned from the library?
So much rum. So many feels.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
