I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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