I think i sorta joined a cult last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
