There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
