i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.