3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?