hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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