oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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