Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
