he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
