either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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