Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
