So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
