Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
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