The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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