He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
