So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
