Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
