Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
