Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
