it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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