he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
