i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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