I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
