She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My orgasm happened in two different decades
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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