So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
