Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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