He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize