Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
