Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize