i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
