Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We got so high we made milksteak
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
