How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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