Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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