My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
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Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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