its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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