Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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