Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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