just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
