I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
