I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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