You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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