I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
