Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize