I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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