you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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