I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
