No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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