I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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