I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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