Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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