he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
