A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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