these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
